Why I Love Billy Collins: I Hate Barking Dogs

It’s simple. The neighbors’ dog will not shut up.

The neighbors’ dog NEVER shuts up when I need to work.

The neighbors’ dog insists on making racket the moment I start to write or when I need to sleep.

The neighbors’ dog is desperately trying to destroy my calm when I have to do the accounting.

Worst of all:

The neighbors’ dog is tied up right next to the room where I write and the neighbors do not care.

Now, Billy Collins comprehends me. Read the following and you will understand why I love him.

 

Another Reason Why I Don’t Keep A Gun In The House

The neighbors’ dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.

The neighbors’ dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

Billy Collins :